Nope, sure didn’t. Square between the eyes. Dead Center. Pretty much worked like a Lobotomy. I spent a Long Time in Zombie Mode. Breathing. Existing. Hand to Mouth. Clothes to Work. Work to Bed. The Cycle Continued. But out of that Messy Carnage is rising something I could never Prepare Myself for. Life is New. It’s Different. Absolutely Nothing Frightens Me. Hope is Sacred to Me. Health is Treasured. Energy is something I bow my Head and say Thanks for. Having Strength Left to Serve Others feels Amazing.
So Thank You Lobotomizing Bullet. I’m Glad I didn’t Dodge You. I have been Reborn. Resurrected. Renewed.
Don’t Hate on Anyone or Anything that Stops You in Your Tracks. Being in Zombie Mode after the Bullet was one Thing. But I didn’t know I was the Walking Dead anyway. In Desperate Need of a Restart.
I sat down at my Desk. I had the door open so I could Smell the Rain. The May Day Trees are in Bloom and the fragrance Hung Heavy in the Damp Air. The Cherry and Apple Blossoms are at their full bloom and also the Lilacs on our street. It’s very close to Heaven out there. As I sat with the door open, I looked at the Desk. It was covered with Treasures. I had to take a picture. To my Left, is a manual for a new job I have started. I’m so excited for a chance to assist a local author as she begins her Journey through Film. Under the manual is a picture of a dear Hawaiian Couple who we have not seen in several years. Their beautiful Hawaiian Lilt still lingers in my heart. I’m not sure how it found my desk this afternoon, but I think it was when I was shuffling some papers around, I pulled it out for a Loving Moment. Above that, is a plate that hung on a wall of a Dear Friend Esther who is now called Home. A Precious Woman. Directly in front of me are two Notes. One from my last boss, a Precious Note saying I helped her grow as a lawyer and as a person. I Treasure it, because it truly was at my Weakest when I was in her life. I Loved Her Fervently. Then there is my Dear Nadia who handed me a card when we ended our trip to Victoria. On the envelope it had said “You do You”….I laughed receiving that since we so often say that to each other. I love her Sense of Humour. I’m grateful for my Menagerie of Happiness scattered on my desk. It’s the Simple Things. It’s Others. It’s Life’s Opportunities that help us Grow and Evolve. It’s Blossoms. It’s Spring Rain.
The Term to describe someone who helps others put their best foot into the world these days is a Image Consultant. The name is Unpleasant to me. To me, Image is a Facade and it is the one thing in Life that can keep us Stuck. As Long as the Outside looks Perfect so many People stay Unevolved and Broken. So please in the Comment Section below, give me some suggestions of Other Description Ideas of what I could put on my Website and Business Cards. I will Gratefully Ponder all and Make a Choice.
That being Said, I want to iterate why I have Chosen to Speak to the Heart in my Blogs, Focus on Heart Issues. Spirituality. The Place where True Beauty Resides. The kind that Ages like Fine Wine. The kind that Shines through Dimmed Eyes when Dewey Skin has Disappeared and the Vitality of Youth has Quietly Faded.
If Heart Issues first aren’t Rectified, the Good Fed and Nurtured ,we become Plastic. Fruitless. We become One Dimensional and No Clothing, No Impeccable Style can make us Feel Good. All it does is feed our Poor Childish Egos. The Part of Us that strives to be the Coolest, the Trendiest. The Person Admired on the Street.
When the Heart is Right, we Dress to Celebrate Life. Art. Our God Given Personalities that are Uniquely Us. And should be Embraced Wholeheartedly. Not to be Noticed but to add Beauty and Uniqueness to the World. To Encourage Others to Celebrate Themselves in Uniquely Them Ways.
So Today, as All Days, I will Focus on the Garden of My Heart. Humility, Love, Kindness, Forgiveness and Peace. S E L F L O V E . Self Love means Tending to Our Hearts. Pulling the Noxious Weeds of Pride, Ego and Competition. Then we will Celebrate Life with Great Style. Our Own Style. And we will Encourage Others to Embrace Theirs.
(I Love the little hand tied red string on the back of the plate. I love picturing her hands lovingly tying the knot.)
To the Christian and the Jew, Esther is a Special Woman. We use the expression “Mother of Israel” when there’s a Woman in our Community who Lives for Others and who’s Heart Beats to Nourish and Cherish Others. So this Morning, my Heart is thinking of a Special Namesake Esther in my Life who has gone to Her Eternal Home. She lived in Kamloops, British Columbia. We used to live on the Shuswap Lake, and She Adopted Us. Brought us right into the Warm Sphere of her Love. Many a Sunday Dinner was spent over her lace tablecloth and dainty china. Her Soft Melodic Voice still Rings in my Heart. Her husband Cam so much more Boisterous and Entertaining and yet her Presence was Equally as Treasured. When she Spoke, we all Reverently Listened. To my Heart, it was Like an Angel’s Voice. When she opened her mouth, Grace Poured Out. She never Spoke Evil of Anyone. She was Strength of Gentleness Personified. Meekness and Love Embodied. Last night I had the enormous privilege of her Gorgeous Grandson, Chris Adams here for Mother’s Day. So fitting to celebrate Mother Esther with Him. I have a plate by my bed that hung on her bathroom wall. The only thing I asked for when she passed. To me, the saying on the plate, it Embodies Esther. I loved taking a Moment and Looking at His Capable Noble Hands holding his Grandmother’s Plate. A Rich Moment for Me.
Today, I have a Twenty Something Esther in my Life. Who’s Lips at such a Young Age Pour out Grace. Her Smile Lights up My Life. Her Positivity Contagious. She has no idea how often I see the Correlation between Esther of Israel, Esther of Kamloops, and now Esther of Calgary.
My Life is So Rich. Because of the Richness of Other’s Hearts. Maybe Today, I can be in some small way a Blessing to Others.
I haven’t looked out for Jeannine for a long time. In fact, I feel like I’ve told her, “Take the back burner honey.” There’s Surviving to do, Breathing, Tough Stuff like that. But I’m Ready. I’m Ready to Start Living. Passionately. With Purpose. I have Hobbies Galore. Half Learned Languages. Ok, one eighth learned. Dusty Canvases. Forlorn Cookbooks. My Muscles used to be Tight to the Bone. I was an Avid Fitness Girl for Eight Whole Years. So my Running Shoes are going on. Hey, I’m 43, it’s Flipping Time. Flipping. Time.
Who’s with me? In the comment section below, tell me one thing you’re going to Dust Off. Dig Out. Break Out. Start Again. Try Out. Recharge.
My daughter Helen sent me the music she will be walking down the aisle to wed her dear Jesse. My tears are still hot and sticky on my face. My little Blonde Angel. My Little Rock. My Conversationist. My Sunny Bells. So Constant in Her Spirit. So Faithful and Loyal. So Optimistic and Always Sweet. Even when she’s Cranky it’s just Pockets of Clouds with the Sun still poking through. How I Love that Girl. She has borne in her Young Life the Fury of the Gale. She is already a Seasoned Sailor on the Sea of Life. And ohmygoodness, I would’ve Capsized without her. She’s been my Cheerleader, My Shield, My Shoulder to Cry On. She’s Goofy, and Silly and a Side Ache from Laughter. She “Wixes her Mords” and truly can be Airheaded and Yet is one of the most Intelligent Women I know. So Tuned In to Current Events and History. She’s a Walking Biology Textbook. Her Knee-jerk emotion is Kindness. I’ve never met anyone who is so Pure in Her Opinions of Others and Keeps such Short Accounts with People. She is Fully Engaged in Life. Loves Babies and Animals. Enjoys Good Food and Has Close Loyal Friendships. She is Not a Gossip. She Adores Her Family and if you want to Upset Her Long-suffering Heart, say something Derogatory about Her Kin. She Fiercely Loves.
As a Child we called her Hells Bells, but she is truly an Angel Tinkle. A Sweet Heavenly Breeze. I can only Hope to Be a Blessing in Her Life like she is in Mine. Bless Her Darling Heart. You are an Honour to Your Namesake, Grammie Helen Robertson.
Most People aren’t Bad. They just don’t Know Better. I’ve Harmed People by my Ignorance. Times when I felt Justified in my Hasty Judgments and Acted Accordingly on Them. Kindness never Leaves a Scar. But Rushing to Judgment Can. There’s the saying …
“the words of a talebearer go down and wound the innermost part of the belly”.
Even though Others Hurt Us, It becomes our Responsibility to Heal it. And one way is To Forgive. Forgive them for Not Knowing what they Did Not Know. Forgive them for Being Human. After all, I am a Human. Deeply Flawed, but Beautifully Human. As Everyone Else on the Gorgeous Globe. Every time We Remember, We Hurt. So Hence, 70 X 7 we need to Forgive. A Conscious Choice. We say, “They did Not Know. And if they Did Know, they would Act Different.” A dear friend of mine once said, “If we knew everyone’s life experience, we would always forgive everybody.” Hurt People Hurt People. Let’s Stop the Cycle by Bringing Tenderness to Callousness. Bring Warmth to others Cold. Bring Blessing where there is Betrayal.
If we Love Love and if we Love Goodness, we will Look for Any Opportunity to Show it. Remember Love can be Walking Away. Love can be Boundaries. Forgiveness doesn’t always mean Reconciliation. But Love should always be Constant. Forgiveness not a Variable. It isn’t an Action, but a Spirit we Live In.