Most Days I Only See Sprinkles. Multi Coloured Sprinkles over My Pretty Life. But Today Is Just Plain Underbelly. Not Pretty Underbelly…I’m Talking Stinky Rotten Fish Underbelly. Sweating in the Sun and Permeating the air with Rot. Not a Nice Visual I know. As Powerful as my Happy is, My Ugly is as Bold. When One has Passion, both Feelings are Equally Felt. So Hence I put a lot of Effort into Joy. Optimism. Faith. Because Fish in the Heat of Day Stinks. Writing that made me Smile. So Maybe I’ve Turned a Corner.
Tonight I’m Netflixing. Anthony Bourdain’s Parts Unknown is Scintillating My Fishy Brain Tonight. Nothing like Travel and Some Great Food to Lighten the Heart. Sobering to think of his untimely death and a reminder to Stay Well Mentally. When Underbelly Days become the Norm, We must Seek Help in Myriad Forms to Find Sprinkles Again.
Memories of Floating Along the windy roads of Home in the blue Mercury Marquis are flooding my mind this morning. My eye level is just above the chrome rim on the door frame. I mostly see the tops of the trees and wires and blue sky as we head to our cottage for the weekend. To my right in the passenger seat is my Dear Mama. In her Blue Willy sweater. She spent the day at the Fish Market selling her offerings and working in the office upstairs under its tin ceiling. Her tired head seems to bob along with the deep Baritone of Roger Whitaker playing on the radio. He sings so rich and smooth …
Did you ever know that you’re my Hero? And Everything I’d like to Be? I can Fly Higher than an Eagle, Because You are the Wind Beneath My Wings
My Mama was Wind to everyone who came into her Sphere. There are Too Many to Count. It was Selfless and Pure. Never once was she Kind to someone and turn around and us children hear a Bad Word. Never a Judgment Call. Just Love and Understanding.
I grew up on Hunter Lake Road. A Road Aptly Named. Our Surname is Hunter and many Families of Origin lived on this beautiful winding road along the Lake. I only knew Harmony. It wasn’t until I left home and the odd rumour would cross my ear that I ever knew there were the typical struggles in the family homes along the lake. My dinner table never was a place for gossip or a place to share the pain of others. We lived in Harmony because of Sovereign Grace and Love in my Mama’s Heart.
These are a Few of my Mamaisms…..
“Jeannine, if you are going to be a sweet old lady, you must be a sweet young lady.”
“Honey, I’ve never walked a mile in his moccasins.”
“If each before his own door swept the village would be clean.”
“Awe poor dear….(said often and regular to others struggles)”
“No matter how deep the waters are, they ne’er shall overflow.” (My eyes overflow as I type this one)
“Kindness and love never leave a bruise.” (Texted it to me today….I’ve heard this from a child)
Our home had a Revolving Door for all. A Spirit of Optimism and Positivity Resided there even amidst the typical Trials and Tribulations of life. Every Day my Mama Suited Up. She put on the Breastplate of Love and Kindness and the Helmet of Humility and the Shield of Faith in her Precious Hands. For that I am so grateful for. It’s really all that matters. In the End it is all that Remains.
So our Feet must Rest Somewhere. What Ground are we Standing On? Our Security is in the Solid and Secureness of the ground under our feet. Is it the fleeting sands of Wealth? Beauty? Human Love? A downturn in the economy wipes away wealth in a day. Even a lying tongue speaking untruths can find us with a pink slip in our hands. Beauty? Oh my goodness. What a Fleeting Thing that is. For one that is in the eye of the beholder. And sometimes if you’re the one beholding, one is beautiful one day and pitiful the next. We are our own worst enemy and critic. Human Love? A very fickle thing. Even the best lover gets discontent and disillusioned. Sickness and Death can rob us of our loved ones in a moment.
So where is Unshakeable Ground? What Ground can keep our Feet in an Even Place through the Trials and Tribulations of Life?
We can Plant our Feet on the Ground of Sovereign Love. It is Eternal and Constant. It has the Ability to Satisfy when all else Fails. It has the Ability to Lift. Steady. Inspire. Strengthen. Comfort.
There’s a lot of Delusion and Trickery out there. So many including myself have Succumbed by times to It. Even Just this Morning as a couple Dear Friends can Attest, I Almost Fell for Delusion. It’s a Powerful Thing. But all the Wealth, Beauty and Love the World holds out for a Moment in Time will eventually Shake. Tremble. Slide Through our Fingers like Shifting Sand.
So Today I Plant My Feet. In Faith. On Unshakeable Ground. And Once Again, My Heart Feels Secure.
My romantic side like to open my windows wide at the first scent of rain. Long ago I removed my screens because I love the look of my windows thrown wide without any barriers. Like a french villa I tell myself. It means the cat escapes every three minutes and must be retrieved as it instantly has remorse finding itself without the comforting walls of its home. Only to find itself once more with only its haunches clinging to the window sill and once more making a dive for it. Charlie my wonderful Yellow Lab gets a anticipatory gleam in her eye as she has come to know the Ritual of Rain. It’s time to Hit the Road Jack. Rubber boots retrieved, the hood zipped to the chin and the click of her leash on the collar. A car drives by and I love the happy splash of the tires as it passes. The cafe down the street is busily putting out its green and white striped awning over its patrons. The red gleam from the street lights make a pretty design on the wet streets. The snap of the umbrellas being opened is a happy sound to me as Charlie and I make our way down the street. I love when we hit a dry spot and her little paws make the most darling prints down the sidewalk. Her hips happily swaying. She enjoys the rain as much as I do. I think it’s a welcome relief to her some days as it is I. Charlie finds a spot under the awning next to a happy dog lover who enjoys her company as I sneak in for a steaming americano. I love the quiet chatter and the smell of blueberry scones and lemon tarts that fill the air along with the freshly roasted Fratello coffee beans. I love how people take time out for the simple pleasures. A young man in the corner is reading a book, two young girls are enjoying an afternoon chatting over their cappuccinos. The little chiming bell welcoming each new customer is so charming. Charlie is still happily engrossed in her newfound friend outside. We bid adieu and continue on our happy wanderings. Life is beautiful, rain or shine. Sometimes we need to allow it to be though don’t we? It’s the strangest thing, that enjoyment in life takes the discipline to see it. To take time to even create it. It’s all waiting for us each day. So this was yesterday. Today, the sun is shining. There’s weeding and car cleaning on the agenda. Laundry. I will take time today to enjoy these simple tasks. I refuse to allow them to become just a task, but I am committed for them to be a way to enjoy the Gift of Life. You with me?
What is the first thing that comes to your mind when you think of the words “strong woman”?
Katniss? Agent Carter? Black Widow?
In other words, the independent-epic-sarcastic-beautiful-warrior type?
See, one thing I’ve noticed lately is that our media has been pushing this notion of a strong woman on us. She must be a fighter, she must be witty and sarcastic, she must be slightly dark and hardened– no pinks and sunshine and flowers for these girls– and above all else she must prove her equality (if not superiority) to all the men.
Which, please don’t get me wrong, I’m not bashing those kinds of characters at all; I love my epic Marvel heroines. I love the warriors, for they’ve got that physical strength and skill that I don’t and I admire them for it.
What I do have a problem with is the notion that the above types of…
When we stop Acting and Reacting from our own Moral Compass it is Veritable Suicide. We all should have our own Value System. Not contingent on the moral compass of the Most Popular Kid in Class so to speak. The person in your current line of vision who is Scintillating your Senses. Popularity and who is being Admired in Society changes on a Whim. Our sense of Who We Are and what we want to bring to the world should be Settled. Engraved in our Being. We should act from that Moral Code first in our Thoughts. The Private Chambers of our Hearts. It should then first Extend to our Families. Then outwards into the World. Then we Know we are being True. True to Ourselves. Not taking on the Values of Others.
I’ve had Chapters in Life that left me Rattled. As I Emulated what I thought Others wanted from me. What would make me Accepted. The Initial High of Being Accepted was never worth the Empty Feeling of Betraying Myself.
It’s good for me each day to Center Myself. Remember Who I Am. What I Value. I then ask my Creator for Strength to Be those things. Then I have Self Confidence. The TRUE kind that can only come from knowing in my very core that I am being True to Myself. Then I am Content. Peaceful. Satisfied.