It does.  But it’s so worth It.  I realize I’d rather love and hurt than turn the tap off.  Because no matter what, there’s that dang trickle.  And eventually your heart just fills up and wants to explode. So let it gush.  Throw it around like confetti.  Don’t expect anything back.  If you do, it’s not love at all.  It’s selfish.  Nothing about love is selfish.  It sometimes feels scary to love like that.  Like somehow we will be consumed.  Drained.  But really giving love is what actually heals us.  Fills us.  It truly is better to give than to receive.  It’s a spiritual law.  Like gravity it cannot be denied. One thing we can be assured of, love sown in a soft heart will grow the sweet fruit of a relationship.  In whatever form it takes. So sow those seeds.  Recklessly and with abandon.  Rich will be your harvest.  Sometimes in the most unlikely fields.  Generations will thank you for spreading those seeds and will fill the hearts of many for years to come.

Love you all.  Lets Spread the Love.

xoxo

Nope, sure didn’t.  Square between the eyes.  Dead Center.  Pretty much worked like a Lobotomy.  I spent a Long Time in Zombie Mode.  Breathing.  Existing.  Hand to Mouth.  Clothes to Work. Work to Bed.  The Cycle Continued.  But out of that Messy Carnage is rising something I could never Prepare Myself for.  Life is New.  It’s Different.  Absolutely Nothing Frightens Me.  Hope is Sacred to Me.  Health is Treasured.  Energy is something I bow my Head and say Thanks for.  Having Strength Left to Serve Others feels Amazing.

So Thank You Lobotomizing Bullet.  I’m Glad I didn’t Dodge You.  I have been Reborn.  Resurrected.  Renewed.

Don’t Hate on Anyone or Anything that Stops You in Your Tracks.   Being in Zombie Mode after the Bullet was one Thing.  But I didn’t know I was the Walking Dead anyway.  In Desperate Need of a Restart.

Thank You for  a Chance to Do Life Over.

Love Y’all

xoxo

Pluviophile – lover of rain

I sat down at my Desk. I had the door open so I could Smell the Rain. The May Day Trees are in Bloom and the fragrance Hung Heavy in the Damp Air. The Cherry and Apple Blossoms are at their full bloom and also the Lilacs on our street. It’s very close to Heaven out there. As I sat with the door open, I looked at the Desk. It was covered with Treasures. I had to take a picture. To my Left, is a manual for a new job I have started. I’m so excited for a chance to assist a local author as she begins her Journey through Film. Under the manual is a picture of a dear Hawaiian Couple who we have not seen in several years. Their beautiful Hawaiian Lilt still lingers in my heart. I’m not sure how it found my desk this afternoon, but I think it was when I was shuffling some papers around, I pulled it out for a Loving Moment. Above that, is a plate that hung on a wall of a Dear Friend Esther who is now called Home. A Precious Woman. Directly in front of me are two Notes. One from my last boss, a Precious Note saying I helped her grow as a lawyer and as a person. I Treasure it, because it truly was at my Weakest when I was in her life. I Loved Her Fervently. Then there is my Dear Nadia who handed me a card when we ended our trip to Victoria. On the envelope it had said “You do You”….I laughed receiving that since we so often say that to each other. I love her Sense of Humour. I’m grateful for my Menagerie of Happiness scattered on my desk. It’s the Simple Things. It’s Others. It’s Life’s Opportunities that help us Grow and Evolve. It’s Blossoms.  It’s Spring Rain.

 

Feeling Deeply Grateful Tonight.

 

I Love You

xoxo

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

(I Love the little hand tied red string on the back of the plate.  I love picturing her hands lovingly tying the knot.)

To the Christian and the Jew, Esther is a Special Woman.  We use the expression “Mother of Israel” when there’s a Woman in our Community who Lives for Others and who’s Heart Beats to Nourish and Cherish Others.  So this Morning, my Heart is thinking of a Special Namesake Esther in my Life who has gone to Her Eternal Home.  She lived in Kamloops, British Columbia.  We used to live on the Shuswap Lake, and She Adopted Us.  Brought us right into the Warm Sphere of her Love.  Many a Sunday Dinner was spent over her lace tablecloth and dainty china.  Her Soft Melodic Voice still Rings in my Heart.  Her husband Cam so much more Boisterous and Entertaining and yet her Presence was Equally as Treasured.  When she Spoke, we all Reverently Listened.  To my Heart, it was Like an Angel’s Voice.  When she opened her mouth, Grace Poured Out.  She never Spoke Evil of Anyone.  She was Strength of Gentleness Personified.  Meekness and Love Embodied.  Last night I had the enormous privilege of her Gorgeous Grandson, Chris Adams here for Mother’s Day.  So fitting to celebrate Mother Esther with Him.  I have a plate by my bed that hung on her bathroom wall.  The only thing I asked for when she passed.  To me, the saying on the plate, it Embodies Esther.  I loved taking a Moment and Looking at His Capable Noble Hands holding his Grandmother’s Plate.  A Rich Moment for Me.

Today, I have a Twenty Something Esther in my Life.  Who’s Lips at such a Young Age Pour out Grace.  Her Smile Lights up My Life.  Her Positivity Contagious.  She has no idea how often I see the Correlation between Esther of Israel, Esther of Kamloops, and now Esther of Calgary.

My Life is So Rich.  Because of the Richness of Other’s Hearts.  Maybe Today, I can be in some small way a Blessing to Others.

I Love You All

xoxo

I haven’t looked out for Jeannine for a long time.  In fact, I feel like I’ve told her,  “Take the back burner honey.”  There’s Surviving to do, Breathing, Tough Stuff like that.  But I’m Ready.  I’m Ready to Start Living.  Passionately.  With Purpose.  I have Hobbies Galore.  Half Learned Languages.  Ok, one eighth learned.  Dusty Canvases.  Forlorn Cookbooks.  My Muscles used to be Tight to the Bone.  I was an Avid Fitness Girl for Eight Whole Years. So my Running Shoes are going on.  Hey, I’m 43, it’s Flipping Time.  Flipping. Time.

Who’s with me?  In the comment section below, tell me one thing you’re going to Dust Off.  Dig Out.  Break Out.  Start Again.  Try Out. Recharge.

Let’s Do It.

Love You.

xxo