With Indignation. My Cheeks Redden. This is Not a Happy Post. But I am Compelled.
It’s a Memory Stirring My Heart. A Few Years Back I Nannied a Sweet Little Sheik Boy. His Dad a True Gentleman. A Pediatric Oncologist. His Precious Innocent Little Wife was a Radiologist.
She was taking Swimming Lessons for the First Time at 35. He Surprised her with a Speedo Bathing Suit. That Kind of Innocence. That Kind of Dream Marriage. That Kind of “Thank You for Blessing Our Country.” Kind of Perfection.
One Day the Lovely Woman Pulled me Aside. Tears Brimming Her Beautiful Soulful Brown Eyes.
“Jeannine, do I smell…?”…..Oh My Heart Breaks as I type this…
“No Darling, why do you ask?”
A Tear Spills Over…..”Because a lady at work says I smell…and that we should cook our curry in our garage so our clothes don’t smell….”
I Think she Felt my Heart Breaking. My Heart Broke. How can People Be so Unkind? How can we not be Gentle with each other? Do they not See Her? Little Mrs. First Time Swimming Lesson Innocence? Mrs. Silently Cry when she Leaves Her Precious Baby Every Day? Mrs. Tender Hearted Perfection?
Well if They Can’t, I Sure Will. Today and Everyday, No One is Mistreated By Me. Not On Purpose Anyway. No One Should Have to Bear My Moods. My Prejudices. My Unkind UnEvolved Soul.
It Started in the Heart and Mind. Think Peaceful Happy Thoughts. Kind Loving Thoughts. Then we won’t Need To Monitor Our Mouths.
Everyone at some point has Dealt with a Bully. Taking your Gentleness as Weakness, they Push You Around. They Need to Feel Powerful. Loving to Oppress. For a Moment they Feed their Need for Power and Relevance through You.
Look in their eyes….
You’ll Often See Fear. Bullies are Afraid Insecure People . When you can Understand this, it takes their Power Away to Hurt You.
Disarm them with Your Quiet Confidence. Stay Comfortable in Your Own Skin. Two Things Often Happen…
Their Attention goes Elsewhere…or as you Role Model Strength and Courage
The Fear in their Eyes Melts away. Confidence finds a New Spring in Their Step.
They’ve Become Inspired…
The World Becomes a Little Kinder. A Little Brighter.
They Make Tears Run Down My Face Like Rivers. The Wind as I walk Charlie Whisks them Away. The Stain Still Smeared on my Cheeks. Sometimes, they just Show up Unannounced. Demanding Entry. Smashing Down my Bolted Heart’s Door.
Shame. Regret. Grief. Longing. Fear. Pain.
Gosh What a Family.
They Rip the Living Room Carpet Up Every Time. Exposing the Elephants in the Room. There’s a lot of Elephant Excrement too under that Dang Rug.
They Demand my Attention. That they be Acknowledged. Their Needs Attended to. Which Always Includes that Dumb Elephant.
When they Show their Ugly Heads Around, I know my Dream Day is Gone. That I will now be Engrossed in this Flipping Family Fraught with Failures. Feelings. I will Cry Inconsolably. I will Wish. I will Repeat “I’m So Sorry” to No One and Everyone Inparticular.
But You Know What, Each Time They Come, They Lay Claim to an Elephant. They Drag its Lumbering Behind Out the Door with them. Like they’re taking Some Treasure. If They Only Knew.
I Feel Lighter. The Living Room Rug is One Less Elephant Lumpy. And A lot Less Smelly. I Got More Heart Leg Room. Room to Stretch. Room for Good Guests.
We’ve heard this saying forever. It basically means whatever we are trying for the first time, once we figure it out we will never forget. Sometimes this can be a problem.
Maybe we learned a dysfunctional way to pedal the Life Bike. Generations of dyfunctional pedalling. Someone told you to go a full rotation backwards before going forwards. Resulting in a lot of stop and starting and poor forward motion.
Sometimes in life, we need to learn how to ride the Life Bike again. Relearn a more efficient way. Sometimes our teachers didn’t know the best way forward. Sometimes the only Life Bike we had to get us through the early years was rusty and missing gears. We learned to pedal the bike, but it was no small achievement.
So, Huge Kudos to those who learned to ride on rusty gears. You’re the coolest freestyle riders I know. You’ve developed muscles so many “New Life Bike Every Year” people didn’t. But maybe, it’s time to really relook at “Learning to Ride Again”.
Find your own way forward. The way of easy riding. Just think of the distance you can go with all the grit and determination you learned from those rusty gears.
Most Days I Only See Sprinkles. Multi Coloured Sprinkles over My Pretty Life. But Today Is Just Plain Underbelly. Not Pretty Underbelly…I’m Talking Stinky Rotten Fish Underbelly. Sweating in the Sun and Permeating the air with Rot. Not a Nice Visual I know. As Powerful as my Happy is, My Ugly is as Bold. When One has Passion, both Feelings are Equally Felt. So Hence I put a lot of Effort into Joy. Optimism. Faith. Because Fish in the Heat of Day Stinks. Writing that made me Smile. So Maybe I’ve Turned a Corner.
Tonight I’m Netflixing. Anthony Bourdain’s Parts Unknown is Scintillating My Fishy Brain Tonight. Nothing like Travel and Some Great Food to Lighten the Heart. Sobering to think of his untimely death and a reminder to Stay Well Mentally. When Underbelly Days become the Norm, We must Seek Help in Myriad Forms to Find Sprinkles Again.
Nobody will ever Take his Picture or Fawn over his Marvellous Feathers. If he hadn’t moved his little feet to get a better footing on that Barren Branch, I would’ve Missed Him. He sat on the Ugliest Tree on the Block. A Foreign Species to Alberta, it sends out shoots that Warp the Cobblestone and Pushes through my Patio Steps. Gnarly and Thorny. So there Grey Bird Sat, Indescript and Virtually Invisible. Anonymous. On Ugly Tree.
That little Anonymous Bird enjoys the same Joys as the Gorgeous Peacocks. It experiences Sunrises, Spring Rain, Warm Summer Breezes, Food for His Tummy, A Warm Snuggly Nest, and Natures Splendid Sunsets to End His Days. So does Ugly Nameless Tree. It has the same Joys as the Revered Maple Tree.
Everything of Value is Outside of Ourselves. Free for the Taking. So Lets Stop Fluffing our Feathers, Treasuring the Valueless Admiring Glances of Others. But Instead let’s Point Others to the True Treasures. Family. Friends. Peace. Sunrises. Food in Our Tummies. Warm Snuggly Homes. Splendid Sunsets to End Our Days.
Today is Your Day. I’m at home all day today working on my computer. Send me all your Style Questions and I’m your Personal Stylist today. I look forward to chatting with you! No Question, No Fear, No Insecurity is too Small or Insignificant!
Oh Yes, and Zero Obligation to sign up for anything. I don’t Operate like that. I actually Love helping people.