We all have Pivotal Points in Our Lives. A Big One happened For Me about Fifteen Years Ago. Prior to, I was Living Fairly Status Quo. Checking Off Lists. Doing the Right Things.
I Felt Dead Inside.
Nothing Reverberated. All of It was for Somebody Else. Their Idea of a Life Well Lived.
I No Longer could Tolerate the Feeling of Living Outside My Own Sphere of Individuality. So Bit by Bit. Painful Layer by Painful Layer I started to Shed My Old Ways.
I Started to Think for Myself. I Listened to My Heart. I Poured Over the Scriptures. I Spent Time on My Knees.
I Began to Live a Life that Made Sense to Me. I Changed My Actions to Fit with My Heart. I Realized No was an Important Word. I realized Just Because a Different Brain Than Mine Thought it, Did Not, by any means, Make It Right.
I Realized I was Ready to Be Wrong, but I Needed to Sort Things Out for Me. I was Willing to Fail, if it Meant to Learn. To Be Real. To Live My Truth, However Bloody and Scratched It Made Me.
That God would Honour My True Intention. Not to Wander From Him, but to Draw Nearer Through My Journey of Discovery.
Today, By No Means, Do I Have It Figured Out. But I can say, My Life is Something that Makes Sense to Me. Everything I Do Comes from my Own Convictions. My Own Aspirations. My Own Desires and Intentions.
Pivotal Points are Wonderful, albeit Scary When They Happen.
I sent this picture to a few of my favourite people. I said, ” what I want my heart to look like”. I found it SO interesting that that was my first thought when I looked at that picture. So my next question was, “What is it that you see when you look at this picture?” So from what I can see, here it is…
nothing is for show. someone entered the kitchen and took a picture because the sun rays were beaming in. the moment of stillness caught on film in a fraction of time. the brita drink container in its useful ugliness wasn’t even put away for a better shot.
it’s not fancy. nobody has tried to capture the perfection of pinterest in this kitchen. the drawers are melamine. the fabric under the sink is from a discount booth at a Walmart. but, in my heart, no “perfectly put together” and Italian marble could capture the essence of this kitchen.
all the things I love and matter to me are in this kitchen. sun rays. warmth. love of nature. comfort. sustenance. humility. beauty. safety. functionality. ease. and most of all, AUTHENTICITY. there’s also a beautiful aged chandelier adding a touch of glamour to the room.
So Yes, I want my heart to look like this kitchen on a summers day. The window is thrown open. Cats bask on the window sill. There’s onions ripening for a family dinner on the counter top. The unpretentious brita jug is in plain view. There’s a touch of glamour in the chandelier adding a touch of celebration to its function. a little indescript clock is marking time.
There’s a chair waiting in the dining nook for you, my friend.
I used to resent special treatment. I can hold my own door, thank you. The other day I had a change of heart. Two gentlemen stood on either side of the elevator and held it while I got on. Wow. Was my heart ever a puddle of love and respect for them. I wanted to reciprocate. Did it ever start a conversation in my head for the rest of the day. I queried. I introspected. I wondered. I understand the women that don’t want this. I used to see it as pandering. Thinking to myself, “Oh yeah, now what? My number? My address?”
Instead these men just kindly continued to discuss a deal they’re working on. They just were humbly doing what they felt good doing. That was holding the elevator for a woman.
I’d say their mamas raised them right.
Thank You to the men who just want to Do Right in their place in society. They crave the peace that comes from Nobility. From Dignity. From Being True Gentlemen.
On the Other Hand, I will Do My Best to Be a Lady. Kind. Virtuous. Discreet.
Here’s to Chivalrous Men. Here’s to Ladylike Women.