Adding Value VS. Mattering

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We can Worry About Mattering.  Do we Matter to People?  Do they Care? Are we Important to them?

The Better Question is “Do you Bring Value?”  Because if you Do, You Will Matter.

We will Only Matter to Those who we Bring Value to.  And Value is Measured by one’s own Priorities and Inner Moral Compass.

So I could Matter for all the Wrong Reasons.  Depending on the Priorities of Another.

So My Concern is Not to Matter.  But to Add Value Based on My Moral Code and Noone Else’s.

So What do I Value?

Authenticity.  Kindness.  Joy.  Encouragement.  Love.  Listening Ears. Introspection. An Open Mind and Heart.

So with This List I Enter Life Each Day.

To Bring Value to Others.  In Turn, I will Matter to Those who Share the Same Values.

Thanks to all my Valuable Friends who Matter to Me.



Heart Goals..


I sent this picture to a few of my favourite people.  I said, ” what I want my heart to look like”.  I found it SO interesting that that was my first thought when I looked at that picture.  So my next question was, “What is it that you see when you look at this picture?”  So from what I can see, here it is…

  • nothing is for show.  someone entered the kitchen and took a picture because the sun rays were beaming in.  the moment of stillness caught on film in a fraction of time.  the brita drink container in its useful ugliness wasn’t even put away for a better shot.
  • it’s not fancy.  nobody has tried to capture the perfection of pinterest in this kitchen. the drawers are melamine.  the fabric under the sink is from a discount booth at a Walmart. but, in my heart,  no “perfectly put together” and Italian marble could capture the essence of this kitchen.
  • all the things I love and matter to me are in this kitchen.  sun rays.  warmth.  love of nature. comfort.  sustenance.  humility.  beauty.  safety. functionality. ease. and most of all, AUTHENTICITY. there’s also a beautiful aged chandelier adding a touch of glamour to the room.


So Yes, I want my heart to look like this kitchen on a summers day.  The window is thrown open.  Cats bask on the window sill.  There’s onions ripening for a family dinner on the counter top.  The unpretentious  brita jug is in plain view.  There’s a touch of glamour in the chandelier adding a touch of celebration to its function. a little indescript clock is marking time.

There’s a chair waiting in the dining nook for you, my friend.

Let’s Share this life Together.

I love you all.


Change of Heart

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Photo by The Lazy Artist Gallery on

I used to resent special treatment.  I can hold my own door, thank you.  The other day I had a change of heart.  Two gentlemen stood on either side of the elevator and held it while I got on.  Wow.  Was my heart ever a puddle of love and respect for them.  I wanted to reciprocate.   Did it ever start a conversation in my head for the rest of the day.  I queried.  I introspected.  I wondered.  I understand the women that don’t want this.  I used to see it as pandering.  Thinking to myself, “Oh yeah, now what?  My number?  My address?”

Instead these men just kindly continued to discuss a deal they’re working on.  They just were humbly doing what they felt good doing.  That was holding the elevator for a woman.

I’d say their mamas raised them right.

Thank You to the men who just want to Do Right in their place in society.  They crave the peace that comes from Nobility.  From Dignity.  From Being True Gentlemen.

On the Other Hand, I will Do My Best to Be a Lady.  Kind.  Virtuous. Discreet.

Here’s to Chivalrous Men.  Here’s to Ladylike Women.

Have a Wonderful Weekend Lovelies.



Thank You, Happy Whistler

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Walking through the atrium to work yesterday, a Beautifully Dressed Man Broadly Smiled at Me.  Touched To My Core by Its Genuine, I Smiled Back.  Walking a Few Steps Away, I heard him start to Cheerfully Whistle a Contemporary Hymn.  It Reverberated off the Granite Walls of the Atrium.  My Eyes Filled with Happy Tears as My Steps Slowed. My Heart Melted.

The Hymn my Children used to Sing when they were Little at Assemblies …

“Bless the Lord, Oh My Soul…Oh My Soul, Worship His Holy Name…Sing Like Never Before, Oh My Soul, Worship His Holy Name…

I Stayed with my Back to Him,  My Footsteps had Stopped.  There was a Moment of Stillness in that Atrium. I will Remember That Moment til My Last Breath.  I Don’t Know Who He is, But He Has My Honour.  My Respect.  My Gratitude.

I Felt Touched By an Angel…in a Beautifully Tailored Suit and a Broad Grin.

Happy Whistling..


Today is Underbelly Upside Down

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Photo by Skitterphoto on

Most Days I Only See Sprinkles.  Multi Coloured Sprinkles over My Pretty Life.  But Today Is Just Plain Underbelly.  Not Pretty Underbelly…I’m Talking Stinky Rotten Fish Underbelly.  Sweating in the Sun and Permeating the air with Rot.  Not a Nice Visual I know.  As Powerful as my Happy is, My Ugly is as Bold.  When One has Passion, both Feelings are Equally Felt.  So Hence I put a lot of Effort into Joy.  Optimism.  Faith.  Because Fish in the Heat of Day Stinks.  Writing that made me Smile.  So Maybe I’ve Turned a Corner.

Tonight I’m Netflixing.  Anthony Bourdain’s Parts Unknown is Scintillating My Fishy Brain Tonight.  Nothing like Travel and Some Great Food to Lighten the Heart.  Sobering to think of his untimely death and a reminder to Stay Well Mentally.  When Underbelly Days become the Norm, We must Seek Help in Myriad Forms to Find Sprinkles Again.

Love Y’all.




Loving the Process

We all want to Arrive.  Most of us will just be somewhere Along The Journey for our entire lives.  That’s the Truth of it. What if we arrive and it was the journey that was the Most Wonderful?   The Best Part.  Maybe we met the greatest Travelling Companions along the way.  The Scenery was Heartstopping.  The Thrills of the hair pin turns made us feel Alive! Maybe we learned along the way to love the Grind.  We learned to love Increments of Progress.

Today, Let’s Love the Process.  Stop looking for the Elusive Utopia of Arrival.  Because the Journey is what makes us Engage.  Think.  Plan. Decide. Create. Live.

Thanks Life.  I Love You.


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Photo by Scott Webb on

What is Image Consulting?

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Photo by Pixabay on

The Term to describe someone who helps others put their best foot into the world these days is a Image Consultant.  The name is Unpleasant to me.  To me, Image is a Facade and it is the one thing in Life that can keep us Stuck.  As Long as the Outside looks Perfect so many People stay Unevolved and Broken.  So please in the Comment Section below, give me some suggestions of Other Description Ideas of what I could put on my Website and Business Cards.  I will Gratefully Ponder all and Make a Choice.

That being Said, I want to iterate why I have Chosen to Speak to the Heart in my Blogs, Focus on Heart Issues.  Spirituality.  The Place where True Beauty Resides.  The kind that Ages like Fine Wine.  The kind that Shines through Dimmed Eyes when Dewey Skin has Disappeared and the Vitality of Youth has Quietly Faded.

If Heart Issues  first aren’t  Rectified, the Good Fed and Nurtured ,we become Plastic. Fruitless.  We become One Dimensional and No Clothing, No Impeccable Style can make us Feel Good.  All it does is feed our Poor Childish Egos.  The Part of Us that strives to be the Coolest, the Trendiest.  The Person Admired on the Street.

When the Heart is Right, we Dress to Celebrate Life.  Art.  Our God Given Personalities that are Uniquely Us.  And should be Embraced Wholeheartedly.  Not to be Noticed but to add Beauty and Uniqueness to the World.  To Encourage Others to Celebrate Themselves in Uniquely Them Ways.

So Today, as All Days, I will Focus on the Garden of My Heart.  Humility, Love, Kindness, Forgiveness and Peace.  S E L F L O V E .  Self Love means Tending to Our Hearts.  Pulling the Noxious Weeds of Pride, Ego and Competition.  Then we will Celebrate Life with Great Style.  Our Own Style.  And we will Encourage Others to Embrace Theirs.

Love You All…



Fight the Urge to Filter

My Gorgeous Kingly Son said to me “Momma I love you, Please don’t use your Snapchat filter to talk to me.  I love you with your Flaws.” My Heart.  I love Authenticity too. In Others.  But sometimes I still want to just Pretty It Up a Bit.  Scared that others might Love Me Less if they See the Truth. I know my only Hope to Be a Blessing is my Ability to be Real.  But sometimes Vulnerability is Scary.  And Sometimes its Hardest with those Closest to Us. But truly the Only hope of Connection comes through Truth.  Rawness.  Openness. Vulnerability.

So Today I will Fight the Urge to Filter Myself.  Yes I will Wear My Optimism.  I will choose to See Life through the Best Light.  But I will never Try to Appear Better than I am in Real Time. I am Enough.

Thanks my Darling Son.  My Kids are My Best Teachers and Mentors.

I Love You Hunter.  I love All of You Too.


Fear vs Love

“Evolution and all hopes for a better world rest in the fearlessness and the openhearted vision of people who embrace life.” – John Lennon

The last two days I’ve chosen Fear as my Dwelling Place.  Not because anything Happened.  Just because I focused on Hurt.  The Past. I chose to Isolate.  Harden. To Shrink.

Then a girl in a Unicorn Sweater showed up.  Bearing two kinds of Cheetos.  So we sipped  Hot Chocolate and ate Cheetos till our fingers were sticky and orange.  And slowly the Warmth of her Love and Spirit made mine come out of Hiding.  I stuck my head out of my Lonely Cave and Smelled the Fragrance of Peace.  Love and Liberty.  She spoke of Unconditional Love and it’s ability to Bring Health.  To Heal the Giver even more than the Benefactor. And my Heart Unthawed.   A Spiritual Spring as the snowflakes fell outside my window started to thaw my Heart.  A warm wind blew. The wilting flowers of Joy and Love and Passion once again started to  tilt their heads to Her Sun.

I don’t even know what to say as the tears run down my face as I am typing this.  But I fiercely Love my Esther.  I didn’t know when I met you last summer and we sat on that hot bench that you would be a Mentor.  Decades younger and yet my Mentor.  My Unicorn Sweater wearing, Joy emanating, Cheeto eating, little piece of Magic.  How did I ever get so lucky? I am Humbled at my blessings in Her.

My Heart is so Happy. Thank you my Fearless Esther.  Your Bravery and Love Heals Me.

I love you Esther, and I love all of You.





Free Style Consultation

pexels-photo-994234.jpegToday is Your Day.  I’m at home all day today working on my computer.  Send me all your Style Questions and I’m your Personal Stylist today.  I look forward to chatting with you!  No Question, No Fear, No Insecurity is too Small or Insignificant!

Oh Yes, and Zero Obligation to sign up for anything.  I don’t Operate like that. I actually Love helping people.

I Love You.