Life experiences had knocked me down. Life had become a series of days of survival. breathing….putting on whatever was clean…saying a prayer for strength and braving my day with a tense smile and a broken heart. Self care wasn’t even a foreign concept, it was no concept at all. It seemed indulgent and something for the privileged. Someone with time, money, affection and care. I don’t know the moment where i realized i had stopped giving myself moments of joy. but it began to dawn on me that i had stopped treasuring the simple things, the pure things in life. the things that truly breathe vitality and a certain humility into our veins that stirs our souls and awakens joy again. i don’t remember the moment this dawned, but i remember the morning i set my phone on the bathroom counter and for the first time had decided my shower was going to become a luxurious moment. as the wonderful sound of the soulful saxophone started to play and the steam started to billow around my little bathroom i felt for the first time in years my blood pressure start to drop and a surge of joy and even a childlike moment where my toes started to wiggle and a little smile flickered across my face at the woman in the mirror that decided in that moment to change her life. i still every morning start my day with jazz in the shower. i highly recommend it.
Winter with its dark long nights and the heavy blanket of snowfall. The birds have hushed their voices and are warmly snuggled in their nests on some cold lonely branch. Families are huddled around the glow of firelight seeking out new hobbies and brushing up on the old. This season can bring along with its beauty a quietness we are uncomfortable with. We miss the lightheartedness of summer and the zest and energy we feel with the vitamin d coursing through our veins. Life is like the seasons. All seasons have their beauty. I often even still struggle with the silent seasons. Times of quietness and reflection. Where maybe the atmosphere is a little chillier than others and there needs some time near the warm fires within our souls. Where the true warmth of life is felt and nourishes our hearts. Springtime always dawns, and with it such hope and anticipation as the sun casts its loving warm rays across the sleeping landscape. It has waited in quiet faith for this moment. Nature doesn’t fight the cycle of life, doesn’t cringe at the inevitable changes it experiences. It settles in and quietly lets the seasons transform from one unique beauty to the other. I want to listen to my dearest friend when she says….honey, don’t fight it…..it’s the Silent Season.