Adding Value VS. Mattering

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We can Worry About Mattering.  Do we Matter to People?  Do they Care? Are we Important to them?

The Better Question is “Do you Bring Value?”  Because if you Do, You Will Matter.

We will Only Matter to Those who we Bring Value to.  And Value is Measured by one’s own Priorities and Inner Moral Compass.

So I could Matter for all the Wrong Reasons.  Depending on the Priorities of Another.

So My Concern is Not to Matter.  But to Add Value Based on My Moral Code and Noone Else’s.

So What do I Value?

Authenticity.  Kindness.  Joy.  Encouragement.  Love.  Listening Ears. Introspection. An Open Mind and Heart.

So with This List I Enter Life Each Day.

To Bring Value to Others.  In Turn, I will Matter to Those who Share the Same Values.

Thanks to all my Valuable Friends who Matter to Me.

xoxo

 

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Let me introduce you to Genevieve…

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My Apologies to All Wonderful Genevieves in the World.

Yesterday my Beautiful Daughter Grace said, ” Mom, your Genevieve is Out.”  As much as it made me Cry Tears of Laughter, I don’t Like Genevieve.  She’s an Alter Ego of mine.  Or maybe it’s just Ego.  My Ego.

My Kids have a Name for Her.  She’s Pretentious.  Judgmental.  Quick to Offense.  She even holds her purse a Certain way.  Clasping her hands at her upper chest.  Her nose is even slightly higher than normal.  She’s Impatient.  Superficial.  She’s Really Rather Ridiculous.

I’ve Learned to Laugh at Her.  Quickly Usher her to where she Belongs.  Under the Control of Spirit.  I only Like Myself under the wonderful control of the Spirit.  Gentle.  Happy.  Supportive.  Kind.  Longsuffering.

I love that Genevieve Never Goes Away.  She’s always there reminding me of My Potential to Be Kinda Awful.  To Humble Myself to the Control of the Spirit.

Labouring to always make sure Genevieve stays working the Broom Closet for the Rest of my Days.  She’s One Pompous Jerk.

Love ya’ll .

Now you Know the Rest of the Story.

xoxo

So You’ve Been Bullied…

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Everyone at some point has Dealt with a Bully.  Taking your Gentleness as Weakness, they Push You Around.  They Need to Feel Powerful.  Loving to Oppress.  For a Moment they Feed their Need for Power and Relevance through You.

Silently Observe…

Look in their eyes….

You’ll Often See Fear.  Bullies are Afraid Insecure People .  When you can Understand this, it takes their Power Away to Hurt You.

Disarm them with Your Quiet Confidence.  Stay Comfortable in Your Own Skin.  Two Things Often Happen…

Their Attention goes Elsewhere…or as you Role Model Strength and Courage

Sometimes…

The Fear in their Eyes Melts away.  Confidence finds a New Spring in Their Step.

They’ve Become Inspired…

and…

The World Becomes a Little Kinder.  A Little Brighter.

One Bully at a Time.

It’s Worth a Shot…

The Proper Kinda Shot…

 

Those Dreaded Uninvited Guests Are Here….

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They Make Tears Run Down My Face Like Rivers.  The Wind as I walk Charlie Whisks them Away.  The Stain Still Smeared on my Cheeks.  Sometimes, they just Show up Unannounced.  Demanding Entry.  Smashing Down my Bolted Heart’s Door.

Shame.  Regret.  Grief.  Longing.  Fear.  Pain.

Gosh What a Family.

 Obnoxious.

They Rip the Living Room Carpet Up Every Time.  Exposing the Elephants in the Room.  There’s a lot of Elephant Excrement too under that Dang Rug.

They Demand my Attention.  That they be Acknowledged.  Their Needs Attended to.  Which Always Includes that Dumb Elephant.

When they Show their Ugly Heads Around, I know my Dream Day is Gone.  That I will now be Engrossed in this Flipping Family Fraught with Failures.  Feelings.  I will Cry Inconsolably.  I will Wish.  I will Repeat “I’m So Sorry” to No One and Everyone Inparticular.

But You Know What, Each Time They Come, They Lay Claim to an Elephant.  They Drag its Lumbering Behind Out the Door with them.  Like they’re taking Some Treasure.  If They Only Knew.

I Feel Lighter.  The Living Room Rug is One Less Elephant Lumpy.  And A lot Less Smelly. I Got More Heart Leg Room.  Room to Stretch.  Room for Good Guests.

And hey, Look Who’s At the Door….

Humility.  Forgiveness.  Gratitude.  Love.  Joy.

Come In, I’ve Missed You.

xo

We all need a T.R.I.B.E.

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There’s Nothing Like a Girl Tribe.

 Mine Began with My Mother.  My Matriarch of Many Musterings.  Mostly My Courage.

 There were my Dear Sisters.  We Rarely Fought and Fiercely Loved Each Other.

 There was Sandi.  My Beautiful Brunette Childhood Bestie.  Her Tinkly Laugh and Freckles Bestrewn on her Darling Face.  We never had a Fight.

 There was Miss Brown, my Grade 7 teacher.  She Loved me and Believed in Me.  I Flourished in her class.  I Learned I Loved Public Speaking.  Speech Writing.  Essays.

There was my Guidance Counsellor in High School.  She loved me enough to Phone Home Personally if I Skipped Class.  Deep Down I was Grateful.

There was also the Woman of Grace I lived with the First Year of Adulthood.  Three Thousand Miles from Home.  A Desperate Lonely Girl Found Solace Under Her Gentle Wings.  I owe her My Life.

There was Rita.  My First Female Coworker at My First Real Job out of College.  She RODE my *ss.  I had one case of stress induced hives after the other that first three months.  I thank her.  She taught me things.  I knew she Loved Me enough to Make Me Reach For My Best Work.

That’s My Life to Twenty.  It would take Too Long to Expound on More.  Or to even state all the women who made a difference in my formative years.  That’ll Be Another Blog Someday.

Thank You to All My Helpers and Missy Helper Helpertons.  I love you all