We all have Pivotal Points in Our Lives. A Big One happened For Me about Fifteen Years Ago. Prior to, I was Living Fairly Status Quo. Checking Off Lists. Doing the Right Things.
I Felt Dead Inside.
Nothing Reverberated. All of It was for Somebody Else. Their Idea of a Life Well Lived.
I No Longer could Tolerate the Feeling of Living Outside My Own Sphere of Individuality. So Bit by Bit. Painful Layer by Painful Layer I started to Shed My Old Ways.
I Started to Think for Myself. I Listened to My Heart. I Poured Over the Scriptures. I Spent Time on My Knees.
I Began to Live a Life that Made Sense to Me. I Changed My Actions to Fit with My Heart. I Realized No was an Important Word. I realized Just Because a Different Brain Than Mine Thought it, Did Not, by any means, Make It Right.
I Realized I was Ready to Be Wrong, but I Needed to Sort Things Out for Me. I was Willing to Fail, if it Meant to Learn. To Be Real. To Live My Truth, However Bloody and Scratched It Made Me.
That God would Honour My True Intention. Not to Wander From Him, but to Draw Nearer Through My Journey of Discovery.
Today, By No Means, Do I Have It Figured Out. But I can say, My Life is Something that Makes Sense to Me. Everything I Do Comes from my Own Convictions. My Own Aspirations. My Own Desires and Intentions.
Pivotal Points are Wonderful, albeit Scary When They Happen.
There is something so soothing about the weight of my precious Labrador Charlie pressed against my body in bed in the morning. The morning sun lightening the dark navy sky to a soft yellow. Newly fallen snow covering the branches of my backyard foliage, creating a winter fairyland. My bed is so warm and comforting.
I gently push Charlie off me and plant my feet in my cozy slippers. My robe is thrown on haphazardly as I do my morning shuffle to the coffee maker. The incandescent light of my kitchen softly welcoming my sleepy body to a new dawn.
There’s a tickle in my tummy. Life is exciting these days. For no reason in particular. It’s really just winter. It’s really just Calgary, Alberta. It’s really just my little home in the middle of the city. It’s also Wednesday, after all.
But in my chest is a beating heart. The sun has come peeking in my window again. The possibilities are endless! The experiences so beautiful awaiting me today…! A smile from a child. Laughter with a coworker. Something yummy in my tummy. Beautiful snowfall. A day in peaceful Canada. With peace in my heart.
My taxi driver wore a large print houndstooth dinner jacket today. With a scarlet thread. His pants were pressed to such a degree a military man of high station would be in admiration. He used to work at a upscale tailor in Dubai before immigrating to Canada.
Now he drives me to work somedays. Always dressed in his finery. With a smile. His cheery contagious spirit.
He celebrates the ordinary days. Every day is worthy of his best.
Jimmy texts me from Tokyo. He’s one of the finest lawyers to grace the office of Blake, Cassels & Graydon LLP. He wrote, “I was complimented on my shoes and suit today and I thought about what you told me. You said ‘Life is too short to spend it not dressed well.’ ”
Life is too short for an ugly outfit folks. Ask the taxi driver. Ask Jimmy. Ask me.
I sent this picture to a few of my favourite people. I said, ” what I want my heart to look like”. I found it SO interesting that that was my first thought when I looked at that picture. So my next question was, “What is it that you see when you look at this picture?” So from what I can see, here it is…
nothing is for show. someone entered the kitchen and took a picture because the sun rays were beaming in. the moment of stillness caught on film in a fraction of time. the brita drink container in its useful ugliness wasn’t even put away for a better shot.
it’s not fancy. nobody has tried to capture the perfection of pinterest in this kitchen. the drawers are melamine. the fabric under the sink is from a discount booth at a Walmart. but, in my heart, no “perfectly put together” and Italian marble could capture the essence of this kitchen.
all the things I love and matter to me are in this kitchen. sun rays. warmth. love of nature. comfort. sustenance. humility. beauty. safety. functionality. ease. and most of all, AUTHENTICITY. there’s also a beautiful aged chandelier adding a touch of glamour to the room.
So Yes, I want my heart to look like this kitchen on a summers day. The window is thrown open. Cats bask on the window sill. There’s onions ripening for a family dinner on the counter top. The unpretentious brita jug is in plain view. There’s a touch of glamour in the chandelier adding a touch of celebration to its function. a little indescript clock is marking time.
There’s a chair waiting in the dining nook for you, my friend.
My Filter can Get Pretty Dirty Real Quick. And it Makes Sense. If the Dust Storm of Doubt comes Rolling Through, it Can Clog Your Filter Almost Instantaneously. Some Storms are Pretty Fierce and Can Hit Out of the Blue. One Moment You’re Walking on Air in a MultiColoured Fairy Land of Optimism and Hope. Then a Phone Call. A Text. A DejaVu Memory. The Clouds Roll In. The Wind Starts Kicking Up Dust and Pretty Soon the Windshield Wipers of Prayer and the Water of His Word is Needed. There’s Always an Antedote. Let’s Not See our Lives as the Colour of Brown when it’s Just the Dust on Your Glasses. Nothing Changed. Your Unicorn Land of Dreams is Still as It is. Maybe a Storm Went Through and Things are Repositioned. But it’s Still Unicorn Land My Friends. There’s Still Magic. There’s Crazy Opportunities to Explore. Unopened Doors to the Coolest Paradises to Be Discovered.
Don’t Let Some Silly Little Brown Particles of Doubt Keep You From Seeing Beauty…It’s Just a Little Dirt on the Filter Honey.